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A new Samsung ad portrays a dystopian future in which only Galaxy Gear owners have sex

Samsung’s new advertisement for its Galaxy Gear Watch is a late but strong contender for worst advertisement of the year. (Also in the running: previous work by Samsung.) Contained in its two-and-a-half minutes of terribleness are wooden acting, a pickup artist named Jack who introduces himself to his seatmate on a ski lift by saying “Hey, pretty lady,” and a Galaxy Gear smart watch that is way more responsive to touch input than all the reviews (and my own experience) indicate it should be.

In the ad, Jack uses his smart watch to out-compete his smartphone-wielding competitor for the attentions of “Aimee.” From the moment Jack asks her to speak her number into his wrist to the moment he uses his watch to remotely cue up a slow jam on his smartphone, Samsung implies that in the near future, smart watches are to female humans as laser pointers are to cats.

The ad does accomplish one thing: it suggests the first scenario in which you might plausibly want to use a smartwatch as a smartphone replacement. If you’re engaging in a sport that requires you to wear bulky gloves and keep both your hands free, like skiing, connectivity is just a wrist-tap away. Conspicuously missing from the ad is the moment when Jack wipes out at 20 miles per hour and cracks the case of his $300 smart watch.

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