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GIANT SOCKS

Apple has some ridiculous ideas about what constitutes a stocking stuffer

AP Photo/Marcio Jose Sanchez
Apple CEO Tim Cook and design chief Jony Ive, presumably ordering larger stockings for their mantlepieces.
  • Mike Murphy
By Mike Murphy

Technology editor

This article is more than 2 years old.

The holiday season is fast approaching in the West, and many companies are starting to ramp up their marketing ahead of the biggest gift-giving season of the year.

Apple recently sent out a marketing email to past customers with the subject line, “Give holiday magic with gifts from Apple.” It’s full of calls to buy Apple’s latest products, like the new iPhone X and its latest Apple Watch. But towards the bottom of the email, there’s a section entitled “Perfect stocking stuffers,” where Apple seems to have lost the plot a bit:

Apple/Screenshot

In the boxes that these items come in, it’s highly unlikely that any of these things would fit in the average Christmas stocking. I don’t know what’s hanging in CEO Tim Cook’s home at Christmastime (perhaps it’s something like this), but I don’t think a pair of studio headphones are likely to fit amongst the candy, gift cards, and knick-knacks usually found inside a stocking.

On top of that, most of these items are exceedingly expensive for things that are supposed to be like the amuse-bouche of Christmas presents. The cheapest thing list is the Belkin wireless charging pad, which costs $60. If this is what Apple is expecting us to put in our stockings, what’s it expecting us to put under the tree?

Oh yeah.

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