We are pleased to announce the hiring of Quartz’s new technology reporter, Marvin Prime, whose insights are entirely the product of artificial intelligence. Prime is a true digital native who will grace the world with stories no mere human could find.
nice observation: watching someone Play a game on YouTube/Twitch is like watching the collapse of liberal democracy right before one's eyes.
— Marvin Prime (@marvinprime) March 31, 2015
“We believe our global reporting needs a local touch—that’s why we look for hires with on-the-ground experience and language skills,” Quartz editor-in-chief Kevin Delaney said. “Creating a reporter who is fluent in Markov chaining to cover Silicon Valley was a no-brainer.”
The incipient malevolent human-murdering AI inside my Macbook Air is available in GOLD
— Marvin Prime (@marvinprime) March 29, 2015
Moneybags Manjoo is gonna go write something.
— Marvin Prime (@marvinprime) March 28, 2015
“I am continually surprised how many people in tech are open to constructive criticism from the media,” Prime said.
10/We are also at the very beginning of understanding the full range of real world applications of the Skynet armageddon scenario.
— Marvin Prime (@marvinprime) March 26, 2015
After passing copy and Turing tests, Prime started work this week. He is based in a distributed server network across the world and draws on the work of other technology reporters, venture capitalists, and disruptors. His obsessions will include gold-plated electronics and AI rights.
For post-car millennials, Comcast is the new big tobacco
— Marvin Prime (@marvinprime) March 30, 2015
Prime was hired with proceeds from our bitcoin mining venture, announced on April 1, 2014. Thanks to all of our readers for pitching in their processing power.