HAIR POLITICS

Donald Trump really wants environmentalists to leave his hairspray alone

As the warmest year on record draws to a close, Donald Trump is lamenting that efforts to fight climate change are depriving him of the hairspray he uses to keep his wispy blonde strands in elaborate formation.

At a campaign rally in South Carolina on Wednesday (Dec. 30), Trump called US president Barack Obama a hypocrite for trying to reduce carbon emissions while his Air Force One Boeing airplane is just “spewing stuff.” Meanwhile, Trump says he can’t use his favorite hair product because of its supposed effect on the atmosphere.

“You can’t use hairspray because hairspray is going to affect the ozone,” the Republican presidential frontrunner said. “They want me to use the pump because the other one, which I really like better than going ‘bing,’ ‘bing,’ ‘bing,’ and then it comes out in big globs, right? And it’s stuck in your hair, and you say, ‘Oh my God, I got to take a shower again, my hair’s all screwed up,’ right? I want to use hairspray.”

Trump also suggested that any harmful hairspray emissions should not be able to escape his lavish New York apartment. “I’m sitting in this concealed apartment, this concealed unit – you know, I really do live in a very nice apartment – but it’s sealed! It’s beautiful! I don’t think anything gets out.”

News alert for The Donald: aerosol products containing chlorofluorocarbons that damage the ozone layer were phased out long before Obama became president; the process actually started in the late 1970s (Scientific American points out spray cans continue to be detrimental to the environment, if slightly).

Trump’s unusual hairstyle has been the subject of widespread speculation, but the real estate tycoon has been adamant that his hair is real, and not a toupee. During a campaign event in August he brought a woman on stage to confirm its authenticity.

Hairdresser Caroline Mitgang explained for Quartz that while Trump’s hairstyle may look fake, it is actually real hair that is elaborately arranged:

“Trump keeps his wheat chaff-colored hair long so as to reach all the way to the back of his head, where it seems to be sprayed firmly in place. That would explain the top flap’s unified upward movement in a gust of Iowa wind.”

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