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Reuters/Eddie Keogh
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SERIOUSLY?

“Details of the reorg”

By Jason O. Gilbert

Team: As you have probably heard, we have decided, after much consideration and discussion with our board, to reorganize our management team.

The reorg, which we believe will simplify and streamline our company, will proceed as follows: Our CEO will become our Executive Chairman, and our COO will become our CEO, and our CFO will become our COO, and our CMO will become our CFO.

That leaves open a position at CMO, which we expect to fill with either our CDO or CPO by Q3. If the CDO becomes the CMO, the CPO will become the CMO, and if the CPO becomes the CMO, the CDO will become the CPO. There is also chance that our CTO will become our CMO, in which case we will search for a new CTO; however, we are fairly certain that the new CMO will be either the CDO or the CPO, and not the CTO, though all three would make an excellent CMO.

You may notice that in both of those scenarios, a position—the CPO, or the CDO, depending on who becomes the CMO, should it not be the CTO—will be left open. If the CDO becomes the CMO, we will not have a CDO. If the CPO becomes the CMO, we will not have a CPO. Obviously, if the CTO becomes the CMO, we will not have a CTO, though we will have a CPO and CDO.

For either the CPO or the CDO, we expect to consider a wide variety of candidates from within the company, from EVPs to SVPs to VPs to our CRO. Of course, once we decide, that will leave open a position at the SVP or EVP or VP level, which we are likely to fill with a different SVP or EVP or VP or, again, the CRO.

This is all part of the reorg, which, again, should greatly streamline our reporting structure.

Upon hearing of this reorg, several of you have written in to say that you have absolutely no idea who your boss is now. It’s quite simple: If you reported to the COO, who just became the CEO, then you still report to the COO, who is now the CFO. You do not now report to the new CEO just because you used to report to the old COO who is now the CEO. Nor do you report to the old CFO, who is now our new COO; instead, you report to the COO, who used to be the CFO.

This logic applies to all levels, from the CEO on down, except in cases where the new manager has assumed the staff of his or her former office, in which case you do indeed report to your old boss.

If you have any concerns, or are still puzzled, you can feel free to ask any manager who you believe to rank higher than you, or anyone who is on your level who you do not believe to rank beneath you, or anyone ranked beneath you who you believe to possess knowledge of those who rank above them.

You can also consult the following chart, which maps out all of the executive-level changes consistent with our streamlining:

I speak for everyone who I am pretty sure is now on the management team when I say that all of us here—from the new CEO, to the guy who I’m pretty sure is now the CMO, to the woman who introduced herself as the new COO but who could very well actually still be the CDO—are super excited about where this company is headed.

With our new leadership in place, or soon to be in place, or getting accustomed to where their place may or may not be, we’re better positioned than ever to excel, thrive, and grow, just as soon as we suss out who exactly is in charge of any given department.

Sincerely,

Your new chief of HR(?)

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