COOOO COOOO

“Just a thought”: Hillary Clinton should coo like a pigeon every time Donald Trump lies at the debate

Obsession
2016
Obsession
2016

A Vermont-based reader of the Toronto Star, has an idea: Hillary Clinton should emit the sound of a pigeon every time that Donald Trump tells a lie during tonight’s debate.

The anonymous political advisor shared this strategy via The Toronto Star’s Washington Correspondent, Daniel Dale, so he could spread it amongst “the reporter intelligentsia and cabal,” which he did, naturally, on Twitter.

The strategist writes:

“Hillary needs to state early in the debate, ‘Donald Trump lies so much that it is almost impossible to keep track of all of them. So instead of trying to refute all his lies, I will just make a small pigeon sound whenever he lies. This will help everyone at home keep score…Just a thought.”

Theoretically, this isn’t a bad idea. It would allow Clinton to keep Trump in check without wasting her time refuting his lies.

That said, there are a few problems. First, pigeons are widely disliked, even hated, birds.

Second, just you try to make “a small pigeon sound.” Seriously, try it right now. It’s somewhere between a coo and a throaty gargle, and it’s really not that easy to do.

Sexists would likely characterize Hillary’s pigeon-calling as “shrill.” Conspiracy theorists would spin it as one symptom of a rare infectious disease.

But let’s not give up yet. Perhaps another sound could serve the same purpose. Tongue-clicking can too easily come across as tut-tutting—again, another sexist trap. The ice cream truck song is too long. Maybe she could just do that “Meep” sound that Beaker the Muppet used to use for multiple purposes, Saturday Night Live‘s “drunk uncle’s” super-sonic whine of skepticism, or bring along a hairbrush with bristles she could run her fingers over, thereby getting the ASMR vote.

Just a thought.

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