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Some suggestions for Mark Zuckerberg’s new AI, Jarvis

Facebook CEO Mark Zuckerberg
AP Photo/Eric Risberg
Maybe Jarvis could recommend some other t-shirt colors.
  • Mike Murphy
By Mike Murphy

Technology editor

Published Last updated This article is more than 2 years old.

Today, Facebook CEO Mark Zuckerberg posted a video of him living his totally normal life with his completely normal family and their newest member, an artificial intelligence system that Zuckerberg is calling Jarvis.

In the video, Jarvis (voiced by the actor Morgan Freeman) helps Zuckerberg wake up, get dressed with a cannon that shoots him one of his signature grey t-shirts, and eat dry toast. A little strangely, the AI also chats to his baby daughter in Mandarin when no one is watching.

Have a look:

At the end of the video, Zuckerberg asks viewers for some suggestions of new features for Jarvis. We had a few, so we figured we’d put them here instead:

Dear Mr. Zuckerberg,

We at Quartz were impressed with your gumption to build your own AI assistant for your home, especially when Google and Amazon already have such useful products on the market that do the same thing. You asked for some suggestions on new skills that Jarvis could learn, and we had a few that we wanted to bring to your attention:

  • A pants cannon to accompany your shirt cannon. Also maybe a sock and shoe cannon
  • A butter-spreading machine for your audibly dry Jarvis-cooked toast
  • A reminder to thank Morgan Freeman for agreeing to be in your bizarre commercial
  • An Oculus founder Palmer Luckey locator
  • A roundup of the day’s best fake news on Facebook
  • A use for virtual reality that isn’t video games and that doesn’t cause nausea
  • A human smile
  • Someone to poke
  • A friend

📬 Kick off each morning with coffee and the Daily Brief (BYO coffee).

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