Skip to navigationSkip to content

Resentment: How to detect the silent relationship killer before its too late

By RadReads

Resentment in a relationship can be a death sentence and can lead to divorce. Empathy, fondness, and emotional availability can salvage a resentful marriageRead full story

Comments

  • Also share to
  • The latest edition of radreads is spot on. This is a huge issues for professionals and their families. Read it.

    “I’m working hard FOR US” is an oft repeated phrase, that sums up the issue here. Each person contributes to the relationship differently, but everyone feels the exhaustion so intensely, it seems they must be the ones doing the hard work.

    The only thing to do is to constantly check yourself. Pull out of your own head and try to view the world as if you’re not at the center.

    For further

    The latest edition of radreads is spot on. This is a huge issues for professionals and their families. Read it.

    “I’m working hard FOR US” is an oft repeated phrase, that sums up the issue here. Each person contributes to the relationship differently, but everyone feels the exhaustion so intensely, it seems they must be the ones doing the hard work.

    The only thing to do is to constantly check yourself. Pull out of your own head and try to view the world as if you’re not at the center.

    For further reading on this, check out “this is water” by David Foster Wallace.

  • As indifference is to love, so is resentment to intimacy. Great piece from Radreads that highlights the “silent killer” nature of resentment.

  • Lots of gems here, but I especially appreciated this caption in the article which eloquently describes something we innately feel is unjust and disrespectful.

    “What our partners are really saying when they ask us to tell them what needs to be done, is that they refuse to take on their share of the mental load.”

    This is why it is so infuriating when someone forgets to do something you asked. They committed to the physical burden but not the mental burden. It then forces one person in a relationship

    Lots of gems here, but I especially appreciated this caption in the article which eloquently describes something we innately feel is unjust and disrespectful.

    “What our partners are really saying when they ask us to tell them what needs to be done, is that they refuse to take on their share of the mental load.”

    This is why it is so infuriating when someone forgets to do something you asked. They committed to the physical burden but not the mental burden. It then forces one person in a relationship to take on the role of “nag” or micromanager which is 100% a silent killer in all manner of romantic, platonic or professional relationships. A good reminder to all.

  • Good stuff.

    To resent is to re-feel. We humans are perhaps the only animal capable of re-feeling an emotional pain limitless times.

    But we can also choose not to.

  • Easier said than done...but today’s parents really need to focus on just doing the right thing and being responsible when building a family. Too often we’re all looking for affirmation and assurances of our efforts that we forego the main focus: raising a generation that we’re proud of.

Want more conversations like this?

Join the Quartz community for all the intelligence, without the noise.

App Store BadgeGoogle Play Badge
Leaderboard Screenshot

A community of leaders, subject matter experts, and curious minds bringing nuance back to how we talk about the news.

Editors' Picks Screenshot

No content overload: our editors will curate the most notable and discussion-worthy pieces for you every day.

Share Screenshot

Don’t just read the story, tell it: contribute your ideas and experience to the dialogue.