It is the year 2043. Lots of things have changed since 2018, when you are reading this. Nations have fallen. Nuclear missiles have been launched. AI is threatening a hostile takeover.
But one thing hasn’t changed: Disney is still releasing Star Wars spinoffs. You already know about the Han Solo movie, the Boba Fett movie, and the Obi-Wan movie. There is lots more to come. We have countless Star Wars TV shows, Star Wars video games, Star Wars reality shows, and of course, Star Wars films.
We only have time to send you one message from the future. We’re sending this, the complete list of Star Wars spinoffs as of 2043, for one reason: Disney must be stopped. We can deal with radiation poisoning and civilizational threat. But we cannot take one more spinoff. Please hel—
***CURRENT LIST. SEND TO 2018. REQUEST HELP***
How it’s made: Sebulba’s podracer
Jango Fett Origins
Live At Jabba’s Palace with the Max Rebo Band
Bossk Baby
Cooking Light with Dexter Jettster
Slave I Episode III: Slave III
Rogue Two Hundred and Twenty One
Sarlacc Pit Digestion: The galaxy’s only 1,000-year reality show
Three Mandalorians and a Bantha
Cornelius Evazan: A Star Wars Story of the guy who got his arm cut off in the cantina on Tatooine
The Good, The Bad & The Unkar Plutt
Who Shot First? Fox News debates everything Star Wars
Pimp My Incom-FreiTek T-70 X-Wing
Kylo Ren’s Mask, The Animated Series
The Comedy of Darth Plagueis The Wise
Jek Tono Porkins: A Star Wars Story
The Rancor Tank with Mark Cuban Jr.
CSI: Corellia
Baby Watto
BBC x Star Wars—Planet Earth: The Wildlife of Kashyyyk (narrated by David Attenborough’s head)
Tastes of the Outer Rim: Blue milk cheese on Tatooine (and other galactic delicacies)
A Quarter Portion of My Heart
: Unkar Plutt’s Songs of Romance
Wheel of Bib Fortuna
Walker: Tusken Raider
Before He Was Admiral: Private Akbar
Before He Was Private: Akbar goes to high school
It’s a Tart!: In the kitchen with Admiral Akbar
Star Wars Episode XXX: Leave the kids at home
A Scarf For All Seasons: A Lando Calrissian story
Cute Ewoks, Season 18
Cute Porgs, Season 11
“Luke, you’ve got one on your tail!”: Celebs read the best vintage Star Wars quotes
Saw: Gerrera
Ebe E. Endocott’s Garage
How To Train Your Tauntaun
Canto Bight Valet
Harry Potter and the Order of the Jedi