In a bizarre video, Kevin Spacey misses every possible point

Kevin wyd.
Kevin wyd.
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On Jan. 7, 2019, almost two months to the day after Netflix dropped Kevin Spacey from House of Cards, the actor will be arraigned in Nantucket, Massachusetts, on charges of indecent assault and battery.

Spacey faces a felony charge over an alleged sexual assault that took place at a bar in July 2016, the Boston Globe first reported Monday (Dec. 24). The victim, son of former Boston news anchor Heather Unruh, was 18 at the time.

One might expect Spacey to be laying low on the day his arraignment was announced. Instead, Spacey released a bizarre and deeply uncomfortable video on YouTube, in which he offers up a vague defense while adopting the Southern drawl, and persona, of his House of Cards character Frank Underwood.

“I know what you want,” Spacey says, sipping from a mug, wearing a Christmas apron, and ostensibly making some sort of foodstuff (his hands can’t be seen) while looking directly at the camera. “Oh, sure, they may have tried to separate us. But what we have is too strong, too powerful. After all, we shared everything, you and I. I told you my deepest, darkest secrets. I showed you exactly what people are capable of. I shocked you with my honesty. But mostly I challenged you, and made you think. And you trusted me, even though you knew you shouldn’t.

“So we’re not done, no matter what anyone says. And besides, I know what you want. You want me back.”

The timing of the video is unclear—did Spacey make it before he knew about the court date?—as is his motivation for producing a video alluding to the allegations in the first place. What is clear is that Spacey apparently never understood his HOC character, a lying murderer who you definitely wouldn’t want in your corner when it comes to any question of guilt or innocence. This is like making Scar your witness in a fratricide case, or trying to defend yourself against fraud charges by impersonating Bernie Madoff.

“Despite all the poppycock, the animosity, the headlines, the impeachment without a trial, despite everything, despite even my own death,” Spacey says, “I feel surprisingly good. And my confidence grows each day that soon enough, you will know the full truth.

“Now that I think of it, you never actually saw me die, did you?”

The cryptic closing seems to be a reference to a possible return to House of Cards, on which Spacey did indeed definitely die (and for which Netflix has signaled zero interest in bringing him back). More likely, Spacey can count on taking his case from the court of public opinion to the Nantucket District Court.