Is there life on Mars?
“I have always said, heard, that it would not be strange that there had been civilization on Mars, but maybe capitalism arrived there, imperialism arrived and finished off the planet.”
Following in George W. Bush’s footsteps at the UN
“The Devil is right at home. The Devil, the Devil himself, is right in the house. And the Devil came here yesterday. Yesterday the Devil came here. Right here. [crosses himself] And it smells of sulphur still today.”
In which a new nickname is proposed
“You are ignoramus, you are a burro, Mr Danger… or to say it to you in my bad English: [switching languages] You are a donkey, Mr Danger. You are a donkey, Mr George W. Bush. [Returning to Spanish] You are a coward, a killer, a [perpetrator of] genocide, an alcoholic, a drunk, a liar, an immoral person, Mr Danger. You are the worst, Mr Danger.”
Sweet-talking his wife, on Valentine’s Day
“Marisabel, I’m giving you one tonight, get ready!”
On the porcine visage of his opponent, Henrique Capriles
“You have a pig’s tail, a pig’s ears, you snort like a pig, you’re a low-life pig. You’re a pig, don’t try and hide it.”
Halloween as imperialist warfare
“What they have implanted here, which is really a ‘gringo’ custom, is terrorism. They disguise children as witches and wizards, that is contrary to our culture.”
Career advice to Hillary Clinton
“You should resign. It’s the least you can do: Resign, along with those other spies and delinquents working in the State Department.”
Botanical advice for Condoleezza Rice
“Remember, little girl, I’m like the thorn tree that flowers on the plain. Don’t mess with me, Condoleezza.”
Before embarking on a nine-and-a-half-hour speech
“I promise you that at least I will make an effort not to be so lengthy.”
Sources: Reuters/Virginia Gazette, Daily Beast, Huffington Post, CNN, BBC