All the things Julian Assange is doing now that Ecuador disconnected his internet

With the government of Ecuador cutting off Julian Assange’s internet access this week, the WikiLeaks editor-in-chief suddenly has a lot of free time on his hands. Ecuador has “temporarily restricted“ Assange’s wifi at its embassy in Britain—where Assange has been seeking diplomatic refuge since 2012—after Wikileaks released a series of hacked documents from Democratic nominee Hillary Clinton’s campaign.

Ecuador claimed Assange should not be trying to influence the upcoming US presidential election. In a statement, Ecuador’s Foreign Ministry said “The government of Ecuador respects the principles of nonintervention in the affairs of other nations, does not meddle in electoral campaigns nor support any candidate in particular.”

So without scandals to break and elections to mess with, here’s what Assange might be doing with his time:

1. Finally finishing Infinite Jest
2. Raising the shades of his window for the first time in four years
3. Opening the adult coloring book his cousin sent him last Christmas
4. Listening to Disc 2 of James Patterson’s Four Blind Mice audiobook
5. Using an abacus to count how many countries hate him now
6. Taping utensils together to see if he can invent a new utensil
7. Puppet show
8. Seeing if he can still recite the opening stanzas of Sylvia Plath’s “Lady Lazarus” from memory
9. Realizing how strong his Australian accent still is
10. Attempting a Scottish accent, and failing
11. Attempting a South-African accent, and doing a little better
12. Coming up with words that rhyme with “UNWGAD”
13. Making a really tasty sandwich
14. Licking his hands and trying to climb the walls like Spider-Man
15. Wondering what Putin is doing right now
16. Making a paperclip chain in the shape of the Cassiopeia constellation
17. Suddenly realizing what “snitches get stitches” meant all those years ago in high school
18. Mastering the “dab”
19. Teaching himself the first eight bars of Goo Goo Dolls’ “Slide” on guitar
20. Nailing the double windsor knot
21. Writing a spec script for Mr. Robot
22. Mentally telepathizing with Elon Musk about his ideas for Mars
23. This
24. Calling his mom on a landline
25. Hanging up
26. Arranging his collection of awards in height order
27. Writing a postcard to Trump that only says, “Don’t call her ugly on camera”
28. Eating just a ton of biscuits
29. Trying to decide what everyone was “turning down” for
30. Getting a papercut, and watching it bleed
31. Lego Millenium Falcon
32. Whistling the bridge to “99 Luftballons”