The mistakes everyone makes negotiating, and what to do instead

This question originally appeared on Quora: What should everyone know about negotiation? Answer by Mira Zaslove, product manager.

Most things in life are negotiable, and you can improve your negotiation skills with four easy tips.

I’ve spent the majority of my career negotiating and training people to negotiate. Along the way I’ve made plenty of mistakes and learned that negotiation can often be improved by actually doing the opposite of what I’d originally think to do.

Mistake #1: Providing too many options

• You want to do this: You’re going to be tempted to offer as many options as possible when negotiating. You may think that if you throw out enough options, the other person is bound to agree with one—the more choice you provide, the better.
• Do this instead: Limit the options you provide to two or three. The paradox of choice dictates that the more choices you provide to someone, the more they like aspects of each option. Therefore, they over-think and believe they can find the perfect solution. If you go to the store and see 20 t-shirts in your size, you are likely to have a harder time making a decision on what to buy than if you just see three. People like easy, quick solutions. They are less likely to second guess and will make a decision more quickly if you restrict the available options. Further reading: The Paradox of Choice: Why More Is Less.

Mistake #2: 

Falling for the bluff

• You want to do this: You’re going to want to believe someone when they get too huffy. When someone gets passionate and appears confident, you’re programmed to believe them. When they vehemently protest that your price is too high and they are going to walk, you take their confidence at face value and cave.
• Do this instead: People who bluff generally overcompensate. In my experience the people who screamed and yelled and made the biggest fuss about walking out on the deal actually didn’t mean it. They were just trying to intimidate me. And it worked, until I noticed the pattern. Rather, it was the guy who was not confident and was actually hesitant who walked. When a person is actually closing the door, they generally regret that it has come to this, and do not feel the need to scream. They are done. The more someone protests that the price is too high, and makes a fuss, generally the more wiggle room you have. Fear the quiet negotiator who isn’t concerned with how he appears. The more someone is trying to impress you with their confidence and how serious they are, generally the more they are bluffing.

Mistake #3:

Playing games and b

luffing yourself

• You want to do this: You want to bluff just as much as you want to catch their bluff. Negotiation is adversarial, the more you let the other guy know what you want, the more he’s going to use it to his advantage and exploit you.