BOTTOMS UP

The perfect drinking game for cheesy Christmas rom-coms

Take a sip.
Take a sip.
Image: Netflix
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It’s the most wonderful time of the year—at least by the Hallmark Channel’s standards.

In 2009, the Hallmark Channel launched “Countdown to Christmas,” in which it released nine original Christmas-themed romantic comedies. These films become hugely popular, particularly among women, and Hallmark has quadrupled their production in the last decade.

This year, Netflix has gotten in on the game. This year, it produced three of its own original movies: The Holiday Calendar and The Princess Switch were released earlier this month, and today it releases A Christmas Prince: The Royal Wedding—the sequel to last year’s pop culture phenomenon.

These Christmas rom-coms are not good. The characters are one-dimensional and racially homogenous, and the plots are regressive and predictable. But they go perfectly with wine, the whole internet seems to agree, so they naturally make perfect fodder for a drinking game

Quartz’s 2018 Christmas Movie Drinking Game rules were conceived with the new Netflix specials in mind, but they’ll work just as well for the 37 Christmas rom-coms Hallmark knocked out this year—or for pretty much any festive-season rom-com. (Please drink responsibly, and remember that the game works just fine with non-alcoholic beverages.)

Take one swig of your drink when…

🍷A heteronormative couple falls in love in less than a month

🍷It snows on Christmas (but no one seems cold)

🍷Two people “just happen” to stand under the mistletoe

🍷Someone explains insane or irrational behavior by saying “It’s Christmas.”

🍷There’s a “meet cute” involving a motor vehicle incident

🍷The action moves to a fictional Baltic-sounding country like “Aldovia,” which has a monarchy. Everyone speaks British English

🍷Someone practices archery 10 feet from the target

🍷The heroine is told she’s too “x” to find love

Take two swigs of your drink when…

🍷A heteronormative couple falls in love in less than a week

🍷You’re introduced to a wise and mysterious old man, who could very well be Santa Claus.

🍷Unexplained “magical” things happen, because it’s Christmas

🍷There’s a shot of an idyllic small town full of people doing their holiday shopping

🍷Someone references cryptocurrency in vague terms

🍷A man proclaims that all he wants to do is listen to a woman

🍷There’s a scene of a woman trying on several outfits before going out

Down your whole drink when…

🍷A heteronormative couple gets engaged after two days

🍷A character sits down and watches another Netflix Christmas movie

🍷The movie ends with a wedding

Happy watching!