Ohanian frequently discusses how his own experience staying home with Olympia helped him gain a concrete understanding of why paid leave for new dads is such a crucial issue for workplace gender equality. But getting companies to offer the policy—and getting dads to take it—depends on changing the ingrained idea that a man’s identity is synonymous with his career. “I’ve seen the tweets and comments about how being less successful (or doing what is traditionally considered ‘women’s work’ and caring for your kids) can be ’emasculating,'” he writes for Glamour.

Thankfully, Ohanian tells Quartz, there are a growing number of online spaces where dads are coming together to bond with one another over life as a caregiver. Among his favorites are the Reddit groups r/Daddit, where fathers share advice on things like story time and the best hiking baby carriers, and r/DadReflexes, with over 455,000 subscribers. It shares what he calls “slightly scary but amusing videos” of fathers swooping in to catch their kids just as they tumble off a playground roundabout or a changing table. The videos are psychologically reassuring viewing for parents because the end is always the same: “Dad saves the day,” Ohanian says. While most people are familiar with stories about moms lifting cars off their children or performing other extraordinary feats of selflessness, he says that the dad-reflex videos are bite-sized reminders of fathers’ own deep reserves of love and protectiveness.

“Every dad-reflex gif is a way to normalize dads having this similar kind of [capacity] and shining a light on these paternal behaviors,” Ohanian says.

This kind of wholesome content is a welcome respite from the displays of toxic masculinity that proliferate in online communities devoted to men’s rights, incels, pick-up artists, and the alt-right—including on Reddit, the very platform that Ohanian helped found. He says that while social media can be used for ill, it also can be harnessed to help men build more positive connections with one another, with the common experience of fatherhood as their foundation. Not only could this help shift social structures that place the burden of care-taking disproportionately on women, both at work and at home, but more dad talk online could also serve to counterbalance “hustle porn“—the preponderance of social-media posts from tech workers and entrepreneurs who glorify 80-hour work weeks, Instagramming photos of their deserted offices when they’re still working at midnight.

“Social media can be a big part of the solution,” Ohanian says. “It has an impact on how we think. If the FOMO posts and the hustle porn posts started [getting replaced by] the selfie of you kicking a ball around with you kid or running some errands, just doing dad stuff, then I think we get a little closer.”

This story is part of How We’ll Win 2019, a year-long exploration of gender equality in the workplace and beyond. Read more stories here.

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