Rejected possible full names for the Congressional COVFEFE Act

It C-O-V-F-E-F-E
It C-O-V-F-E-F-E
Image: AP Photo/Andrew Harnik
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The United States Congress has given us many terrible acronyms in the form of “clever” names for bills. There is the JOBS Act (“Jumpstart Our Business Startups”), the STALKERS Act (“Simplifying The Ambiguous Law, Keeping Everyone Reliably Safe Act”), and of course the STOP SMUT Act (“Special Taxation On Pornographic Services and Marketing Using Telephones Act”).

Now Representative Mike Quigley, a Democratic congressman from Illinois, is introducing the latest in congressional acronym acrobatics—the COVFEFE Act, or “Communications Over Various Feeds Electronically for Engagement.” The bill aims to amend the Presidential Records Act in order to archive Donald Trump’s tweets as official presidential statements, and its name of course refers to a tweet Trump sent in May that included the mysterious non-word.

Shoring up the presidential archives is all well and good, but it feels like Democrats reverse-engineered a bill after first deciding to introduce something, anything, called the COVFEFE Act. In fact, Quartz has acquired an internal list of potential names for the bill, considered by Dems before they settled on “Communications Over Various Feeds Electronically for Engagement.”

  • Callously Outrageously Vast Financial non-Equality Fails Everyone
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  • Can some One Verify Fully Evil Foreign E-warfare
  • Continually Over-Valuing France Equals Fundamental Error
  • Christ! Our Voter Fraud Ends For Ever
  • Concerned: Our Villainous FrEnemies’ Foreign Espionage
  • Come On: Vilifying a Few Executives Favors Economy
  • Creating Opportunities Vithout First Engaging in Fiscal Exuberance
  • Can some One Verify Fully Every Fake nEws
  • Covfefe cOvfefe coVfefe covFefe covfEfe covfeFe covfefE
  • Consuming Organic Vegetables should be Free Especially For Elites
  • Careful: Our Voters Find Everyone-of-us Failures, Equally
  • Could Obama be Vice-president, Find Equanimity, Fix Everything?