Donald Trump’s love of McDonald’s clearly proves that he is an American hero

Man of the people.
Man of the people.
Image: AP Photo/Gerald Herbert
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Politicians aren’t always honest, but luckily they do so much eating on the campaign trail that it’s nearly impossible for them to hide their true selves.

Like everything in America, food choices are either Democratic or Republican, and within each party there are subtle gradations. Chick-fil-A does God’s work, making it an obvious GOP favorite. Marco Rubio’s campaign counts the number of Chick-fil-A chicken nuggets it has consumed on the campaign trail (1348!), which is not robotic at all.

Democrats from Barack Obama to Hillary Clinton prefer Chipotle, but a powerful new fanbase is emerging: A survey by the consulting firm Resonate, first reported by Bloomberg, showed that Bernie Sanders supporters were 82% more likely to eat Chipotle than the average, burger-eating, freedom-loving American. 

At last night’s (Feb. 18) CNN Republican presidential town hall in South Carolina, frontrunner Donald Trump provided voters with new insights. 

Anderson Cooper: “I understand that you’re a big fast food guy as well, that you actually bring fast food to your plane sometimes. When you roll up at McDonald’s, what does Donald Trump order?”

Donald Trump: “The Fish Delight sometimes. [laughter from audience] The Big Macs are great, the Quarter Pounders with cheese.”

Looking past Cooper’s incredibly lame question, Trump’s predilection for the Fish Delight is instructive. Bloggers were quick to note that there is no actual “Fish Delight” at McDonald’s—it is officially known as the Filet-O-Fish—but real Americans understand that Trump is too busy making America great again to worry about little details like political correctness, sandwich names, or America’s actual unemployment numbers.

Trump’s preference shows that he cares about his health. At only 390 calories, Mickey D’s fish sandwich is practically kale. (Ignore the 590mg of sodium and 19g of fat, what are you, a communist?) Plus, his daughter has converted to Judaism, so he orders the kosher-est choice as a sign of respect to her and her people.  And what about those Western Alaskan fishermen who are losing their livelihoods because of the overfishing it takes to make the fish sandwich? Doesn’t matter, they are nothing but crybaby losers.

The Donald also did not miss an opportunity to bash Chipotle, brought down by a series of food poisoning outbreaks:

I’m a person that I like cleanliness, I like clean. And one thing about the big franchises, you have to a certain—one bad hamburger, you could destroy McDonald’s. One bad hamburger, you take Wendy’s or all these other places… I don’t want to mention the name of the firm, but you see what a certain firm is going through right now. I don’t know, can they make it or can they not make it?

In other words, Chipotle is basically the Mexico of fast food (if you thought it was Taco Bell, you’re probably part of the establishment): Filled with dirty, terrible people food of unknown origins and questionable moral character. And unlike McDonald’s, Chipotle clearly wants to turn the country into a socialist trash heap where people feel entitled to luxuries like higher education and sick days.

Trump added: “The other night I had Kentucky Fried Chicken, not the worst thing in the world.”

No, the worst thing in the world is Hillary Clinton and Barack Obama and Megyn Kelly and the Pope to sitting down to eat Chipotle burrito bowls—they’re trying to cut down on carbs—while plotting how to not make America great again. Disgusting.