While one might think the issue of school segregation is limited to particular regions of the US, Oliver says, the historically racially troubled South is actually the least segregated part of the country—with the worst segregation in New York City and other urban areas.

Big city public school districts tend to group minority students in low-income areas together in schools that are staffed by inexperienced teachers and offer meager resources, while their white counterparts get access to more. Why? In short, Oliver explains, because ”funding tends to follow white people around, the way white people follow the band Phish around.”

The comedian points to several local governments, like that of Boston, that have made valiant efforts at racial integration such as setting up voluntary programs to send inner-city kids to suburban schools. But most urban schools remain cripplingly divided, breeding racial discrimination in children as they grow up into adults.

“Oh shit, liberal white New Yorkers,” Oliver scoffs. “Twist ending: you were racist the whole time. Put back those persimmons you bought yourselves as a treat from Fairway. You don’t deserve them anymore.”

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