Happy Friday!
“Etiquette is the science of living,” said Emily Post, pictured below with an OG laptop, who wrote the 1922 book that is still the prevailing tome on the topic. “It is the code of sportsmanship and of honor. It is ethics.”
That book, Etiquette: In Society, In Business, In Politics and At Home, provides guidance on the correct length of cloth for an afternoon tea table, the proper way to sign a condolence card, and why it’s uncouth to offer a bride “congratulations” for securing a husband. (Extend your best wishes instead.) Post also references the polite enjoyment of cigarettes and cigars. “There is not a modern New York hostess,” she wrote, “who does not have cigarettes passed after dinner.”
The grande dame of good manners was silent, however, on how to properly react if a person passes you a joint that’s burning quickly and—egads!—unevenly, or offers you a “dab” from a tabletop rig.
Cannabis, of course, was not typically offered in the early 20th century smoking-rooms where cigars, liqueurs, and coffee were enjoyed into the evenings. But today, as legalization takes hold, we’re all increasingly likely to find ourselves in social situations where the plant is present—and now, it might be smoked, eaten, imbibed, vaporized, dabbed, or even absorbed through one’s skin. To the uninitiated, smoking pot can be an intimidating social undertaking. There’s equipment involved and open flames, not to mention the risk of getting oneself into a state—stoned, paranoid, giggling, etc.—where socializing can become a challenge unto itself.
Never fear. Post’s 36-year-old great-great-granddaughter Lizzie Post is here with her own soon-to-be-definitive book of manners: Higher Etiquette: A Guide to the World of Cannabis, from Dispensaries to Dinner Parties. This pot primer is at once authoritative and approachable, filled with answers to the sorts of questions that might make a newbie feel like a nerd.
Post also makes suggestions that position her as a sort of stoner mega-hostess: If you’re passing joints at a dinner party, consider finger bowls—finger bowls!—of water on the table, in case someone needs wet fingers to troubleshoot a joint that’s running, or burning unevenly. (The book taught me this problem is also called “canoeing.”) One gets the feeling Post comes by this role honestly.
With an embossed gold title on a pale green twill-textured cover, Higher Etiquette looks like it belongs on a coffee table alongside a mid-century modern brass ashtray, and perhaps a hand-glazed ceramic one-hitter. It comes out March 26, and would make a lovely gift come 4/20.
Herewith, some tips from Higher Etiquette for indulging with good manners (in places where cannabis consumption is legal):
Do: Label cannabis-infused foods at get-togethers. Post suggests a descriptive label such as: “African Queen macarons: positive and relaxing head-high.” She also recommends a separate spread of non-infused foods for those not partaking in the cannabis items, and so that no one overdoes it on the edibles as a result of the munchies (a vicious cycle, indeed).
Don’t: “Lawn-mow” the bowl. (“Corner” it instead.) When passing a pipe the old-fashioned way, it’s kinder to light the bowl at an edge, saving some fresh green for everyone in rotation.
This is known as “cornering the bowl”—as opposed to blazing the flames across the top and blackening the entire thing, which is also known as “lawn-mowing.”
DO: Tip your bud-tenders and delivery people. If you’re unsure whether a driver is allowed to accept a tip, just ask. With both bud-tenders and delivery people, think of food-service as a model.
“As with all regular service providers,” says Post, “you should consider your regular delivery person during your holiday thank-yous.” (Maybe they’ll hook you up with a holiday gift too!)
Don’t: Bogart the joint. Fun fact: “Bogarting is a term derived from the way Humphrey Bogart would just let a cigarette hang out of his mouth, not seeming to actually smoke it.”
Don’t do that, writes Post: “It’s not a microphone.” Pass it!
Do: Be the host with the most (communication). Overall, Post emphasizes that communication is key. In the new age of legalization, comfort levels about cannabis vary widely—and of course, it’s not for everybody. Let people know what to expect in your home: Is it 420-friendly? Do you prefer smoke—or, as Post calls it, “combustion”—to happen outdoors, and if so, where?
If you’re hosting houseguests, Post suggests letting them know the aforementioned protocols, in addition to alerting them of any “house stash” (properly labeled, of course) to which they may help themselves, and pointing them to local dispensaries.
As for parties, “you set the standard in your own home,” writes Post. “It’s up to you to make decisions and then communicate them clearly and kindly to your guests when you issue your invitation.” Homegrown to burn? BYO? Just let your guests know.
And remember, a finger bowl for every table.
Have a great weekend!
[quartzy-signature]
The second film from the first Jordan Peele. Us, the new movie from Get Out director Jordan Peele—which has turned “I Got 5 on It” into a horror theme with its trailer alone—is out this weekend. Quartz’s Adam Epstein saw the film at its South by Southwest premiere, followed by a Q&A with Peele, and takes umbrage at the comments (however well-meaning) that call the director the “next Steven Spielberg” or the “modern-day Hitchcock.” “The real question,” he argues, “is which filmmaker will be the next Jordan Peele.” The movie’s “Twilight Zone-esque premise (fitting, since Peele’s reboot of the classic science-fiction series debuts on CBS All Access in April) quickly devolves into a chaotic slasher with a surprisingly deep mythology,” writes Adam. “As Get Out did, Us mixes a number of genres—it’s as funny as it is terrifying (and it’s quite terrifying). By fusing elements of horror, suspense, sci-fi, and comedy, Peele is creating a genre unto himself. ‘Jordan Peele,’ it turns out, can be its own genre.”