With apologies to Queen.
Is this the real life? Is this just fantasy?
Anthony Scaramucci’s 10-day tenure as White House communications director felt like being caught in a landslide—especially the landslide of expletives he unleashed about his colleagues Sean Spicer, Reince Priebus, and Steve Bannon. But there’s no escape from reality, and that reality is John Kelly, the new White House of chief staff, has pushed the Mooch out of his job (paywall).
Open your eyes, Mooch. Look up to the skies and see: You’re not just a poor boy (a very rich one in fact), and you need no sympathy, because you were easy come, easy go, and any way the wind blew didn’t really matter: You were ready to change your opinions at the slightest breeze.
Life at the White House had just begun, but now you’ve gone and thrown it all away. Did you mean to make Reince and Spicey cry? You won’t be back again this time tomorrow, but the White House will carry on, carry on as if nothing really matters. Too late; your time has come. Gotta leave it all behind and face the truth. Sometimes you may wish you’d never been born at all—but then, in Washington, who doesn’t?
It’s funny; your tone was thunderbolts and lightning, very very frightening, but in the end all we saw was a little silhouetto of a man. Scaramouche, did you do the fandango? Or was that just you losing your footing after a few extra drinks?
But look on the bright side: You’re sparing your life from this monstrosity that is Donald Trump. Just as well, really, since if you’d stayed any longer Beelzebub would have had a devil put aside for you. Now you’ve just gotta get out, just gotta get right outta here.
And it’s OK; nothing really matters, as anyone can see. This is Washington, after all.