Apple has some ridiculous ideas about what constitutes a stocking stuffer

Apple CEO Tim Cook and design chief Jony Ive, presumably ordering larger stockings for their mantlepieces.
Apple CEO Tim Cook and design chief Jony Ive, presumably ordering larger stockings for their mantlepieces.
Image: AP Photo/Marcio Jose Sanchez
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The holiday season is fast approaching in the West, and many companies are starting to ramp up their marketing ahead of the biggest gift-giving season of the year.

Apple recently sent out a marketing email to past customers with the subject line, “Give holiday magic with gifts from Apple.” It’s full of calls to buy Apple’s latest products, like the new iPhone X and its latest Apple Watch. But towards the bottom of the email, there’s a section entitled “Perfect stocking stuffers,” where Apple seems to have lost the plot a bit:

Image for article titled Apple has some ridiculous ideas about what constitutes a stocking stuffer
Image: Apple/Screenshot

In the boxes that these items come in, it’s highly unlikely that any of these things would fit in the average Christmas stocking. I don’t know what’s hanging in CEO Tim Cook’s home at Christmastime (perhaps it’s something like this), but I don’t think a pair of studio headphones are likely to fit amongst the candy, gift cards, and knick-knacks usually found inside a stocking.

On top of that, most of these items are exceedingly expensive for things that are supposed to be like the amuse-bouche of Christmas presents. The cheapest thing list is the Belkin wireless charging pad, which costs $60. If this is what Apple is expecting us to put in our stockings, what’s it expecting us to put under the tree?

Oh yeah.