Tesla is seeking a valet mastermind to solve its office parking nightmare

Nice job, jerk.
Nice job, jerk.
Image: AP Photo/Mark Lennihan
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If you’ve dreamed about working at a high-end car company and have a knack for life-sized Tetris, Tesla has the job for you.

On Friday (March 9), Elon Musk’s car and solar panel company posted an opening for an entry-level position at its factory in Fremont, California. Or, just outside it. The company desperately needs a valet and parking manager to organize its parking lots.

Tesla’s parking situation—both at the the factory and its headquarters in Palo Alto—is notoriously disastrous. The Palo Alto space has about 600 parking spaces for an undisclosed number of employees, according to the Wall Street Journal (paywall), while the Fremont location has 4,500 spots for 6,000 employees.

It’s gotten so bad that some employees arrive early to grab a spot, and nap in their cars before work. The lots themselves even have an (unofficial) Instagram account, whose creator solicits submissions of the worst offenses.

According to the Journal, Tesla has tried implementing shuttles to and from the offices. Last year, Musk also wrote in a memo about a forthcoming “electric pod car roller coaster (with an optimal loop the loop route, of course!) that will allow fast and fun travel throughout our Fremont campus, dipping in and out of the factory and connecting all the parking lots.”

The new job listing suggests Tesla is hopeful that a human touch will also help. The future valet manager will handle “customer relations regarding parking and valet questions and feedback” and supervise the ”portfolio of onsite and off-site parking lots, structures, and facilities.” The ideal candidate will have at least five year’s experience working with valet management, and will know California parking laws off the top of her head. There’s also a proficiency requirement for both Excel and Powerpoint, as well as overall “evidence of exceptional ability.” Given the current state of the lots, one hopes that pay is negotiable.

Would-be candidates can rest assured that Musk is personally invested in a resolution. “Parking is, like, one of my biggest nightmares,” he said on a recent earnings call. “Like, where do we park everyone?”