But then I saw that video. I saw that video that spoke of lynching me instead of letting me sign, of eradicating my four-year legacy instead of letting him wear their letters. And then my son saw my face. My sweet, innocent son saw the pain and anger in my eyes and I had a decision to make: a decision white Americans never have to face. Do I teach my four-year-old son about hatred today? Or do I let him keep his innocence for a few more days, weeks, or months before I have to start preparing him for this?

My mother prepared me, even though I thought she was wrong. I thought we’d have progressed further by now, but look at the news. Forget this one story and just look at the news. My mother prepared me, God bless her. And I will prepare my son—but not today. Today this black man gave him a smile and finished eating dinner with him. This black man gave him his bath and got him ready for bed in his perfect little world.

I had my time. I have my friends. But I can have no association with this organization as a black man. I know these were supposedly just “kids being kids,” and maybe they aren’t the hateful, ignorant lost little boys I think they are. But I will not stand behind them. Those boys are sons, sons of men who failed them, just like they failed my son.

Perhaps most importantly, you failed me: member 261-057. Your boys sang in unison. They may not know where the song came from or who made it up or even what all the words really mean, but they sang it until they had memorized every word.

I wanted to be an Omega. My heroes from television were all Omegas. My cousins are Kappas and Alphas. I went to SAE? Shame on me. But hopefully, there will never be another black SAE.

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