84% of women feel uncomfortable promoting themselves and 69% prefer to downplay their accomplishments instead of promoting them. And almost 50% prefer running errands in the rain than talking about themselves in a room full of strangers.
The discomfort and fear many women feel around self-promotion is warranted. Studies show that women purposely use the word “we” instead of “I” more when talking about their achievements out of a realistic fear of being perceived as self-serving. This is especially true in male-dominated work environments, where women tend to give more credit to their male teammates and take less credit for themselves.
Learning how to own my wins both in and out of the workplace was one of the most unnatural habits I’ve had to cultivate. Especially as a woman of color growing up in an immigrant household, I grew up so used to hustling, achieving, and quickly moving on to the next thing that it never occurred to me to pause and celebrate my accomplishments. However, at a certain point, I realized that if I wanted to progress further in my career, I had to become my greatest advocate.
4 ways to move past humility and exude confidence
If you also struggle with being overly humble, here are four tactical things you can do to start getting comfortable with loudly and proudly owning your wins.
1. Review your track record and increase your deservingness
The reason so many of us hesitate to own our wins is simply a lack of deservingness—the feeling that we never deserved to win in the first place. Many of us will automatically attribute our success to the support of the people around us, luck, or timing—anything except ourselves and the sheer hard work and dedication that got us to where we are today.
To increase your deservingness, take stock of all the ways in which you have been instrumental to your own success. Write down the decisions, risks, and investments you’ve made to this point and how that has contributed to where you are today. Moreover, write out the hard-earned skills and traits you have cultivated over time. Are you proud of yourself for your grit? Your focus? Your optimism? Your leadership? Of course, other people may have contributed to your success, and there is always some degree of luck involved, but that doesn’t mean that you don’t deserve to be recognized any less for your contributions.
2. Get your personal pitch down
No matter what kind of work environment you find yourself in—a networking event, a job interview, a client or investor pitch—getting a solid personal pitch down will serve you well. Your personal pitch is your one-minute introduction to concisely showcase just how impressive you really are. It ensures that no one (including yourself) doubts your greatness when you first meet them. Depending on the context, here’s what to include in your personal pitch:
- Current title and company
- Highlights from your track record you are most proud of
- The skills/traits you believe are the most valuable
- How you can add value to the person you’re speaking to
When thinking about what you want to highlight in your pitch, think creatively about what makes you unique. For example, when I started my professional career, I never thought to bring up my competitive gymnastics in job interviews or investor pitches because I thought, “What does that have anything to do with the job in front of me?” Later on, I realized that it wasn’t about the sport itself; it was all the transferable skills I could pitch that made me an impressive candidate.
3. Create a victory log to celebrate yourself regularly
One of the things I do to make owning my wins a habit is creating a victory log—a daily log of all the wins you are proud of achieving. It’s a running tally, a reminder of all the ways in which you are already winning.
To start your victory log, grab a notebook, and at the end of every day, take ten minutes to log at least five wins you are proud of. These can be tangible results and goals you have achieved, or they can be as simple as “I’m proud of myself for speaking up in the meeting,” “I’m proud of myself for staying positive today,” or “I’m proud of myself for making it to the gym after work despite feeling sluggish.” What’s important is that you are taking time to privately acknowledge yourself and your active role in your success, so owning your wins publicly becomes second nature.
4. Advocate for other women
While 84% of women say they feel uncomfortable promoting themselves, 83% said they are inspired when they hear about other women’s accomplishments. Sometimes, the easiest way to feel comfortable owning our wins in the workplace is by advocating for someone else. Grab yourself an accountability buddy and practice being each other’s biggest hype women. If you notice a woman being overly humble or downplaying her accomplishments, be the type of woman who reminds her how incredible she is. By practicing this and supporting each other, we all win.
Lisa Carmen Wang is the author of The Bad Bitch Business Bible, and a four-time USA National Champion gymnast turned serial entrepreneur and investor.