Keen watchers of US politics may find themselves months deep into Beto O’Rourke fatigue. Whether it was the Vanity Fair shoot; the strange campaign video with his completely silent wife, Amy Sanders, or the sudden realization that no one actually knows what his policies are, the polls are bleak. Most show him in fifth or sixth place, with no more than 6% of the vote.
Still, what better way to re-ignite the O’Rourke fervor than a heartwarming documentary?
Running With Beto, released on HBO on May 28, is a snapshot of the politician’s grassroots campaign for a seat on the Texas senate. It features many (many!) passenger-seat interviews; a lanky underdog with outsized dreams; and a whole lot of whizzy animated maps. Its creators are surely grateful for its auspicious timing—the film’s release comes less than two months after O’Rourke announced his return to the campaign trail, this time as a Democratic presidential candidate.
If you’ve decided to take a dip in the blue wave, whether out of a sense of duty to the man itself, because a Beto-loving friend, spouse, or coworker is making you, or because you want to make the most of your HBO subscription, here’s Quartz’s very own drinking game. It’s best paired with a sense of humor, some distance from the 2020 campaign, and a gang of likeminded friends. (Please drink responsibly, and remember that the game works just fine with non-alcoholic beverages.)
🍺 Beto is so much taller than everyone else that his head is cut off by the camera frame.
🍺 Inspiring music reminds you you’re supposed to be feeling something.
🍺 You do actually feel something.
🍺 Beto hits the road. Bonus points if he’s literally running.
🍺 Beto’s wife looks incredibly proud.
🍺 Beto polls his kids: how do they feel? What do they think? What should he do now? Are they going to vote for him?
🍺 The camera roves so aggressively you literally can’t see what’s happening.
🍺 Someone being interviewed in a car curses emphatically.
🍺 You find yourself wondering about the secret to getting those lustrous locks.
🍺 The film’s unsung hero, campaign communications manager Chris Evans, gets a loving lecture from his dad Beto O’Rourke.
🍺 The camera lingers on Beto’s extremely unsubtle choice of reading material: Homer’s The Iliad and a three-volume history of Martin Luther King Jr. and the Civil Rights Movement.
🍺 There’s a shot of small-town Texas. Man of the people, remember!
🍺 Man of the people pauses to have a snack.
🍺 You’re forcibly reminded that Beto was made for this role, it’s his birthright, it runs through his veins, no one ever deserved it more, and such.
🍺 Someone clearly stages an intimate moment for the benefit of the camera.
🍺 Beto would clearly rather be playing ball with his kids.
🍺 Beto’s kids are very clearly wondering why on earth he’s wasting his time with this.
🍺 You learn the name of Beto’s eldest son.
🍺 You hear the slightly-too-on-the-nose closing music, Tom Petty’s “Runnin’ Down a Dream”
🍺 Texas votes blue. (Spoiler: You may be waiting a while.)
Bottoms up!
