Today the New York Times reported that Facebook may start hosting content from news organizations directly on its own website, and has been working with partners that include BuzzFeed, National Geographic, and the Times itself. Here are some other initiatives the paper of record is considering:
March: NYT starts publishing certain articles directly to Facebook
April: Will Shortz quits crossword puzzles to devote himself full-time to Mafia Wars
May: All Fashion videos are now just Bill Cunningham doing the Ice Bucket Challenge
June: Headline in Tech Section: ‘Facebook Really Good, Zuckerberg Also Good’
July: Photo desk replaced by algorithm that scans stories and inserts proper Dawson’s Creek GIFs
August: NYT Editorial Board replaced by your high school guidance counselor, your Uncle Tony, and all of your ex-girlfriends
September: All Thomas Friedman columns begin publishing straight to backseat TV screens in taxis
October: All Maureen Dowd columns begin publishing directly to your grandmother’s email with subject line “FWD: Read this!”
November: All Paul Krugman columns begin publishing as Business Insider re-writes of themselves
December: New York Knicks coverage replaced by FailBlog GIFs of Andrea Bargnani shooting a contested 3-pointer with 19 seconds left on the shot clock
January: NYT Now releases news-reading app for Apple Watch, warns it may cause cancer
February: Copy editing desk outsourced to the howling, screenshot-wielding furies of Journalist Twitter
March: Political reporters instructed to publish all unverifiable rumors directly to Yik Yak
April: New Motto: ‘All the News That’s Fit to Casually Scroll Through While on the Toilet’
May: New York Times cancels both print and Web versions to become a native advertisement on BuzzFeed’s Snapchat channel