Happy Friday!
A week ago today, it was the morning after the shooting deaths of five police officers in Dallas. Earlier that week, two black men, Alton Sterling and Philando Castile, were killed by police. Greeting you with a cheerful guide to wardrobe management, as I’d originally planned, just didn’t feel right. But due to a technical glitch, the email went out before I had changed it. (Beta!) It was an accidental expression of how awkward, fraught, and fragmented our attempts to move forward following these moments of trauma can be, especially as the underlying conditions that caused them persist.
Today we’re in a similar place, now facing the aftermath of a new terrorist attack in Nice, France. How do we move forward? As we found following the hate-fueled shooting at Pulse Nightclub in Orlando less than a month ago, connecting with the world—and engaging—is key. We’re not helpless. We can channel our emotions into meaningful action, whether by voting, calling elected officials, educating ourselves, or just expressing solidarity and empathy for our co-workers, neighbors, and friends.
And get outside! I spent an hour Sunday night sweating on the tennis courts at a city park, surrounded by families barbecuing and singing “Happy Birthday” on blankets with balloons, while skateboarders skidded along the quarter-pipe. It has kept me going all week.
Take care of yourself, and others. Self-care is especially important in the wake of trauma—and it means much more than just treating yourself to a massage or retail therapy. As Colorlines’ Miriam Zoila Pérez pointed out, self-care is about connecting with your community and taking care of your body and mind—sometimes on the most basic level. (“If daytime: Are you dressed?”)
Give yourself—and your employees, if you have them—time and space to process. The Cut’s Ashley Weatherford wrote eloquently about taking a personal day following the deaths of Alton Sterling and Philando Castile—to absorb the information, stay on the couch, read Claudia Rankine’s Citizen: An American Lyric, and eat ice cream. The Portland-based ad agency Wieden+Kennedy replaced its homepage with a note explaining why “your black coworker” may seem especially bitter, sad, or quiet right now.
Moving forward is not forgetting, and injustice should be acknowledged. The artist Dread Scott has reprised the NAACP’s flag from the early 20th century that stated, simply: “A man was lynched yesterday.” Back then, the flag flew from the NAACP’s Fifth Avenue headquarters, reminding Manhattanites of the racist violence that plagued their country. Last week Scott’s, which reads: “A man was lynched by the police yesterday,” hung outside the Jack Shainman Gallery’s 20th Street location in Chelsea.
It’s never too late to get involved. “I’m 33 years old and it was my first time taking part in a protest,” writes the New York-based designer Maxwell Osborne, of Public School and DKNY. “As a black man in an overwhelmingly white industry, race is never far from my mind.”
Fight bias with empathy. Following the videotaped police shooting of Alton Sterling, a 37-year-old father, the Washington Post’s Robin Givhan implored readers to watch another video, of Sterling’s 15-year-old son crying for his dad. “It tells people that Sterling—this black man—was both loved and needed,” she wrote. “It simply defines him as knowable, which today seems like such an accomplishment.”
Find common ground. Experts Sarah Birdsong and Katie Kirkinis say exposing ourselves to more balanced, realistic images of men of color can help start to undo our harmful, unconscious biases. Kadir Nelson’s painting, ”A Day at the Beach,” which appeared on the July 4 cover of the New Yorker, is a helpful reminder of several self-evident truths: We all want the same things. We all have the right to enjoy a day off with our families. That little boy in the lime-green swim trunks has a right to grow up with a father.
Go outside and meet people. Like a gazillion others, I tried Pokémon Go this week, and found an evening with the augmented reality game in Central Park to be a pretty wholesome New York experience. (See here if you’re like, wtf is a Picachu?) I met some sweet strangers, discovered new landmarks, and almost stepped on a live rat.
The game is worth trying at least once, in New York City or elsewhere. If you’re not that into video games, here are my tips. If you are, here are Nikhil Sonnad and Alice Truong’s.
Celebrate victories! Serena Williams won her 22nd grand slam title at Wimbledon on Saturday. Then, Portugal won its first Euro championship the following day, against France. (That’s soccer, in case you’ve been too busy playing Pokémon Go.) Speaking of empathy, the sportsmanship award goes to the tiny Portugal fan who paused his postgame celebration to share a hug with a weeping Frenchman (the whole clip is really worth watching). At the other end of the spectrum: moths.
Get out there and have a great weekend!
Pokéstop! In the game Pokémon Go, a Pokéstop is a place for catching Pokémon. In real-world Hawaii, a poké stop is a place that sells the cubed raw tuna, scallion, and soy delicacy called ahi poké. Over there, it’s casual, roadside-stand fare. Here on the mainland, it’s great for making at home and eating over rice or scooped up with sesame crackers. You’re going to need some high-quality tuna and a sharp knife for this one. Pro tip: if you’ve got a sous-vide cooker, this is the way for silky salmon poké. Share with friends!