Jason Karaian

You call those job cuts? These are job cuts.

It wasn’t a happy time at the top for Anshu Jain and Jürgen Fitschen. The two are stepping aside as co-CEOs of Deutsche Bank, making way for former UBS finance chief John Cryan can take over.

Are we finally approaching the end of Greece’s epic bailout negotiations? At the very least, we have something that looks like it might—maybe, possibly—be a hard deadline.

Studies often show that women are better investors than men. But very few women actually oversee professionally invested assets.

Brace yourselves, Britain: In the coming days some parts of your normally rainy, windswept country could be hotter than the Mediterranean! Can you believe it? It goes without saying that local newspapers have been trumpeting this rare and unusual occurrence. Or maybe not so rare:

Fewer, older, greyer. This is Europe’s future.

If you weren’t reading this article, you would probably be scanning something else on the internet, watching TV, or maybe—just maybe—reading a newspaper or magazine. In short, you would be consuming media.

What to watch for today

One in 10 cigarettes that smokers light up in Europe is counterfeit or contraband, according to a new report. That’s more than 56 billion dodgy cigs in total, says KPMG, which produced the research on behalf of four big tobacco companies.

The Next Billion is Quartz’s forum about the next billion people to come online for the first time, largely on mobile phones. It was held in London on May 19. The hashtag is #qznextbillion. A video of the whole event and our blog can be found below.

The London-based communications company Inmarsat has a problem. It is a rather unfortunate problem, given that the firm specializes in satellite communications—namely, that the rockets it relies on to shuttle its gear up into orbit tend to blow up before they get there.

The private equity business model is pretty simple. First, convince some wealthy people and institutions that you’re so smart that you deserve their money. Then, take some of that money, add a hefty helping of debt, and buy an undervalued company. Quickly fix it up using your superior smarts—or by firing lots of people and cutting other costs to the bone. As quickly as possible, sell it on at a profit to another company, or cash out via an IPO. Take a big cut of the proceeds as a fee and return the rest to your backers. Repeat.

A group of more than 60 Asian-American associations submitted a joint federal complaint against Harvard University yesterday, accusing it of discriminating against prospective students of Asian origin.

Egypt’s first freely-elected president, Mohamed Morsi, was sentenced to death in a Cairo courtroom today. The decision will be referred to the Grand Mufti, Egypt’s highest religious authority, for confirmation. A final decision will be announced next month.

Don’t say they didn’t warn you. After unveiling somewhat lackluster quarterly results earlier this week, the beer giant SABMiller said an uptick of takeover activity in the brewing sector was, er, brewing.

For some time now, Greece’s cash-strapped government has been seizing the reserves of municipalities, pension funds, and other state bodies to settle its debts and pay other expenses. Earlier this week, it repaid an IMF loan with money it kept on deposit at the IMF itself. All the while, the Greek government has made only halting progress with its lenders—chiefly other euro zone countries—in unlocking billions of euros in crucial bailout funds in return for deeper economic reforms.

Euro zone economists have been so beaten down by years of recession, stagnation, and turmoil that many have lost their sense of perspective. In normal times, quarterly growth of 0.4% in a major world economy would elicit a yawn, or perhaps a shrug.

Among the many notable details about Verizon’s $4.4-billion bid to acquire AOL, one doesn’t have anything to do with mobile video, online ads, or other technological concerns. Take a look at the financial advisors on both sides of the deal: LionTree Advisors and Guggenheim Partners for Verizon, and Allen & Company for AOL.

Needless to say, the AOL that Verizon is acquiring today is a very different company from the one that was doing the buying during the last tech boom.

The numbers: Sour. The Danish brewer recorded a first-quarter loss of 90 million Danish krone ($13.6 million), from a loss of 67 million krone last year.

Airbus’ shares are sinking today—down as much as 4% at one point—after one of its military cargo planes crashed in Spain over the weekend. Four of the six crew onboard were killed when the A400M troop transporter went down in a field outside of Seville about 15 minutes after takeoff.

The cuts keep coming at Siemens, the giant German engineering group. Its latest quarterly earnings (pdf) disappointed investors, with a key measure of group profit dropping by 5% versus the same period last year. Most of the conglomerate’s business units reported lower profits for the quarter, and the company’s share price dropped by more than 2% in early trading.

If there is any uncertainty about the outcome of an event—be it in sports, politics, or life in general—Brits will bet on it. Ahead of the most unpredictable general election in a generation, you better believe that the bookies are offering odds on almost every permutation of the vote.

It isn’t the first time that HSBC has threatened to leave London, but it might be the last.